forget you!

love this!! :)

halloween

was browsing thru albums of friends in FB and came across some halloween pix that make me think "wow effort!" :)

pablo's in here somewhere hahaha

 

oh and i threw in some cute PVZ pictures that i saw heehee!

"When we first met, I didn’t want to get involved with anyone. I didn’t have the time or energy, and I wasn’t sure that I was ready for it. But you were so good to me, and I got swept up in that. And little by little, I found myself falling in love with you."

— Nicholas Sparks (10272010.04:10.station)

all too true

A lie is a lie even if everyone believes it. The truth is the truth even if nobody believes it. ~ David Stevens

what is it with my dreams lately???

i've been having the wierdest dreams the past couple of days... and yeah, this post is long overdue... since last thursday... i was telling nim i had this horror-comedy dream that time, and up til now, i still remember parts of it (at least my memory isn't THAT bad hahaha!)

now, anyone who really knows me knows that out of all the fictitious monsters or aswangs or whatever you wanna call 'em, i really.do.not.like.manananggal. like, really. i mean, c'mon... super effort just to kill one manananggal... you have to go look for the other half of their body pa... plus they fly and all... so of all the monsters and what-not, it's the manananggal who actually scares me.

yet, i digress, back to that horror-comedy dream...

i dreamt that i was with the wolf... we were sleeping, i don't know the place really, it wasn't frvw and it wasn't his room in LP either... so i woke up and i was just watching him sleep and i heard this sound by the window... it was HER... as a manananggal!

nak ng teteng naman oh! pati talaga sa panaginip sus!

so, manananggal HER was kinda hovering towards the sleeping wolf... and me, i remember i was hiding i think... coz really, as i said, i don't like manananggals. but for some reason, i think my intense dislike of her actually overcame that whole scaredy feeling... i crept up behind the hovering monster... and rammed my hands up her icky half body and started rummaging around and squeezing the gooey internal organs...

i think i said that if she didn't leave him alone i'd literally rip her heart out...

wow... violent much? >:)

nyahahahaha!

when i woke up, i was giggling!

i mean, c'mon... me + physical violence = not happening. period. hahaha

there's so many more insidious ways to 'torture' people *evil laugh*

but that dream was pretty funny for me... :)

dreams

The inability to open up to hope is what blocks trust, and blocked trust is the reason for blighted dreams.

- Elizabeth Gilbert

Shattered (O.A.R.)

In a way, I need a change
From this burnout scene
Another time, another town
Another everything
But it's always back to you

Stumble out, in the night
From the pouring rain
Made the block, sat and thought
There's more I need
It's always back to you

But I'm good without ya
Yeah, I'm good without you
Yeah, yeah, yeah

How many times can I break till I shatter?
Over the line can't define what I'm after
I always turn the car around
Give me a break let me make my own pattern
All that it takes is some time but I'm shattered
I always turn the car around

I had no idea that the night
Would take so damn long
Took it out, on the street
While the rain still falls
Push me back to you

But I'm good without ya
Yeah, I'm good without you
Yeah, yeah, yeah

How many times can I break till I shatter?
Over the line can't define what I'm after
I always turn the car around
Give me a break let me make my own pattern
All that it takes is some time but I'm shattered
I always turn the car around

Give it up, give it up, baby
Give it up, give it up, now
Now

How many times can I break till I shatter?
Over the line can't define what I'm after
I always turn the car around
All that I feel is the realness I'm faking
Taking my time but it's time that I'm wasting
Always turn the car around

How many times can I break till I shatter?
Over the line can't define what I'm after
I always turn the car around

Don't wanna turn that car around
I gotta turn this thing around



i was driving to work today and the first song i heard was this song...

how apt.

i dreamt about the wolf earlier... i thought i was over the phase when i dreamt of him... and i don't know if it's because his borther called me yesterday that triggered it or what... but that's just the way it goes i guess...

i dreamt that we were hanging out in the living room, just quiet and next to each other... and he kissed me... i can't help but wonder why there was so much passion in that kiss - even in my dream... well, the wolf did do things with a LOT of passion (haha... kaya nga nagka-lil munster eh noh?)... anyways... in the dream... he was also playing with the lil one...

maybe that's why things like this... happen in the realm of dreams... because it's such an impossibility in real life.

huh??

where the heck did the week go???

i'm pretty sure i didn't sleep the week away... coz i'm perpetually sleep-deprived.... so what happened??

hmm...

note to self: work to live, NOT live to work... addendum: the more OT hours, the higher the tax so it doesn't make sense to stay too long in the office... pagod ka na, frustrated pa when you see your payslip hahaha! :)

poem for pip

this was written for my pipsneak... and as such, rightfully belongs to her... and no matter how many twists and turns life has taken since then, at one point, pip meant something to the wolf

poem to my unborn
sept.21-27.2009

will i hear your very first cry
when the world opens its arms to you?
i just want to be near you
to see your very first smile

what music it must be
to hear you when you laugh
to hear you giggle
as you run around my knees

to watch you open your eyes
makes it all worth the tears
would cure any pain within
and would subside all angers and fears

know that i have always loved you
long before you were ever born
you are our dream come to life
and none shall ever be above you.

...

“Yet from those flames / No light, but rather darkness visible / Served only to discover sights of woe, / Regions of sorrow, doleful shades where peace / And rest can never dwell, hope never comes / That comes to all.” (John Milton)

Sometimes the only thing that people see is what you did, when in fact, they should be looking at why you did it.

ever heard the phrase, "sometimes you have to be cruel to be kind"? If you knew that the one you love really wanted to be with someone else, but due to circumstances that person can't be with the one he/she loves and since you're there, 'settles' for you instead...

would you allow the one you love to 'settle' on you and give up on his/her chance to be with the one that he/she really wants to be with?

or would you do whatever it takes, even make the person think that you would be infinitely better off without him/her in your life... so that the person would walk away from you... and hopefully find his/her path towards the one that he/she really loves?

thud.

soundtripping...

please don't stop the rain...

so there i was, just minding my own biz... soundtrippin' while processing tandims... when one of my favorite songs played, James Morrison's Please Don't Stop the Rain...

(now: this song, when i first heard it, due to the things that were happening in my life at the time, i instantly related with the song... and i remember the first time that i shared this song with wolf, we were heading back to manila from minalin, i can still picture that long stretch of road,sun-dappled trees on either side, driving late afternoon, headin to san fernando then back home to LP... when he heard the song, he said it was beautiful... and then i remember sharing the youtube video of that song, when things were getting really crazy between us... how there were wolves and water in the vid...)

yet, i digress...

i glanced at the screen to raise the volume and wham

"i love you, erica - wolf"


motherchucker...

ouch. that hurt.

i guess he updated the info with the lyrics... most probably almost more than a year ago, give or take a few days... since it's already 10.25 (and the last time i was 'with' the wolf, was 11.04.2009)

first of, he knew i didn't have an ipod... so no way could i have seen what he did all the time he spent updating my itunes... i guess, considering that today's Lyra's 6th month... and 2 months til his birthday... to see that... i dunno... how exactly to explain it...

i wonder if the time will ever come when i'll be numb and feel nothing at all for the wolf... is that even possible? =(