huh??

where the heck did the week go???

i'm pretty sure i didn't sleep the week away... coz i'm perpetually sleep-deprived.... so what happened??

hmm...

note to self: work to live, NOT live to work... addendum: the more OT hours, the higher the tax so it doesn't make sense to stay too long in the office... pagod ka na, frustrated pa when you see your payslip hahaha! :)

poem for pip

this was written for my pipsneak... and as such, rightfully belongs to her... and no matter how many twists and turns life has taken since then, at one point, pip meant something to the wolf

poem to my unborn
sept.21-27.2009

will i hear your very first cry
when the world opens its arms to you?
i just want to be near you
to see your very first smile

what music it must be
to hear you when you laugh
to hear you giggle
as you run around my knees

to watch you open your eyes
makes it all worth the tears
would cure any pain within
and would subside all angers and fears

know that i have always loved you
long before you were ever born
you are our dream come to life
and none shall ever be above you.

...

“Yet from those flames / No light, but rather darkness visible / Served only to discover sights of woe, / Regions of sorrow, doleful shades where peace / And rest can never dwell, hope never comes / That comes to all.” (John Milton)

Sometimes the only thing that people see is what you did, when in fact, they should be looking at why you did it.

ever heard the phrase, "sometimes you have to be cruel to be kind"? If you knew that the one you love really wanted to be with someone else, but due to circumstances that person can't be with the one he/she loves and since you're there, 'settles' for you instead...

would you allow the one you love to 'settle' on you and give up on his/her chance to be with the one that he/she really wants to be with?

or would you do whatever it takes, even make the person think that you would be infinitely better off without him/her in your life... so that the person would walk away from you... and hopefully find his/her path towards the one that he/she really loves?

thud.

soundtripping...

please don't stop the rain...

so there i was, just minding my own biz... soundtrippin' while processing tandims... when one of my favorite songs played, James Morrison's Please Don't Stop the Rain...

(now: this song, when i first heard it, due to the things that were happening in my life at the time, i instantly related with the song... and i remember the first time that i shared this song with wolf, we were heading back to manila from minalin, i can still picture that long stretch of road,sun-dappled trees on either side, driving late afternoon, headin to san fernando then back home to LP... when he heard the song, he said it was beautiful... and then i remember sharing the youtube video of that song, when things were getting really crazy between us... how there were wolves and water in the vid...)

yet, i digress...

i glanced at the screen to raise the volume and wham

"i love you, erica - wolf"


motherchucker...

ouch. that hurt.

i guess he updated the info with the lyrics... most probably almost more than a year ago, give or take a few days... since it's already 10.25 (and the last time i was 'with' the wolf, was 11.04.2009)

first of, he knew i didn't have an ipod... so no way could i have seen what he did all the time he spent updating my itunes... i guess, considering that today's Lyra's 6th month... and 2 months til his birthday... to see that... i dunno... how exactly to explain it...

i wonder if the time will ever come when i'll be numb and feel nothing at all for the wolf... is that even possible? =(